Oct 24 2011
Every woman has the list of things she never leaves behind when she leaves the house. Her “essentials” for optimum health and happiness on the road, at work, or wherever she’s at. Here is my list of tools a truly independent woman should never leave at home:
**Please note: I am not including the infamous “cell phone” as it is pretty much attached to our bodies anyways…**
#11) A Cute Little Dog: Okay, this isn’t really a tool. Nor is it essential. But doesn’t a fuzzy little puppy make everything look and feel better? Say your boss doesn’t want to give you the raise you requested. You can point out that you have a cute little puppy he can cuddle with. If that doesn’t soften his heart enough to get you that raise, you can always train the dog in intimidation tactics.
#10) Your Business Card: You want to become more popular don’t you? I suggest carrying them in a glam case to make handing them out even more fun.
#9) Delicious Lip Gloss: Ever feel kind of smelly? A super deliciously fragrant lip gloss will help mask that odor and make your lips irresistible. I always carry Victoria’s Secret “Sugar High” ($7 at Victoria’s Secret Stores) to make sure I am always the most kissable girl in town.
#8) Extra Strength Tylenol: Let’s be honest. If you’re not happy, nobody is going to be happy. Also, you can take it with a sweetened cup of coffee to make it essentially the same thing as “Midol”.
#7) Hand sanitizer: Did you just see the cashier sneeze into his hand then reach his snot infested fingers out for your debit card? No double take necessary. He did. That’s why God made hand sanitizer.
#6) Chap Stick: There is one sure way to ruin any woman’s day: dry, chapped lips. I don’t know about you, but if I’ve got chapped lips, I shoot terrible. Okay, maybe that’s a lie. But all the experts say conditioning is imperative to defending yourself from an attack, and damnet, my lips will be conditioned.
#6) LED Flashlight: I recommend Surefire lights, they are a bit spendy but worth every penny. You can use these flashlights to blind an attacker, giving you a few seconds to run.
#5) Knife: No, not that cleaver from your kitchen knife collection (Although that would make an interesting conversation starter: “Wanna borrow my cleaver?” as you pull it from your purse). A simple, tactical grade, pocket knife. You never know when you are going to need to cut something or, heaven forbid, someone. A knife is a great little backup tool. If ever you find yourself tied up, you can cut yourself free. More realistically though, it comes in handy for removing splinters, cutting open that bullet proof packaging your new iPod came in, or peeling gum off the bottom of your favorite pair of shoes (so, if you’re like me, those new glittery stilettos you got half off at the Nordstrom Rack).
#4) Your Sidearm: and all the accessories you like to carry with it. Consider carrying an extra magazine if you don’t already. It’s like a spare tire: if one magazine has a feeding issue in the middle of a shoot out, you can switch it out with your extra. Of course, I recommend making sure your all your carry gear is in good working order before leaving the house. You can cycle a magazine with dummy rounds (such as A-zoom snap caps) through your gun to make sure the magazine is feeding properly.
#3) Your Concealed Handgun/Weapon License: (or whatever it’s called in your state) . Did you know that carrying and or using a concealed weapon while the license to legally do so is not on your person (i.e. at home on your dresser) is legally the same as not owning a concealed handgun license? It’s not like your driver’s license where the cute policeman writes you a fine or lets you off with a warning and a dinner date for leaving it at home.You must have your concealed weapons license on your person; otherwise you are in unlawful possession of a firearm. Go straight to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
#2) Your Wallet: you never know when you are going to need, oh I don’t know, money! Or how about I.D. ? Your wallet is your number one tool. It should house your number two tool: your Concealed Handgun License.
#1) House Keys: You plan on getting back in don’t you?
So there they are: twelve things a woman should never leave home without. Tell me what YOU never leave behind in a comment below.